There was so much chaos in my head, a clear indication I was no longer in control and you were Nothing but poison to my heart. The noises in my head didn't stop their rantings and musings, I went through that day on the verge of crying and throwing a tantrum at anyone who I shared a room with that day. I felt irreparable, desperate and unwanted.
I barely managed through that day but I did get home with the fake smile I had been wearing that day, it was prayer time when I got home I rushed to the bathroom to take my ablution .
As I was cleaning my nose I looked up to the mirror into my face
My eyes were dead there was no life in them, my skin was so dry as I now rubbed my cheek, my lips were on the verge of bleeding due to cracks. I put on the mirror light to get a cleaner look of my face and this time tears started rolling.
What had I done to myself?
All this while I had been trying to fix a friendship that was clearly not meant to be I was drawing further apart from the person who needed me most ;The person in the mirror.
The person who stared right into my heart. The fact that she was crying broke my heart. I had taken things too far. I resolved to fix that
I have since that day I have put the person in the mirror first. There is No one or Nothing worth her tears.
Grief taught me the value of taking care of me because that's who I can control. No matter how bad I want something or somebody it's better to withdraw if it is causing you unnecessary burdens before you get to the point of no return.
It's awesome to be at this point of life where I am comfortable in my own skin. When my phone goes off and I become ecstatic at the fact of spending time to myself.
I am loving every bit of me since I learned me matters
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